About me

I was born on 30 March 1975 in Hamburg. In 2012, I experienced the Absolute Being during a near-death experience. This experience seemed so significant to me that I wanted to devote a large part of my attention to realising my existence, the I Am, from that point onwards.

My journey began with this decision.

With this project I would like to try to bring you closer to Absolute Consciousness, in the knowledge that any distraction on the outside can only separate you from it.

Although you will always find new articles here that point to the Absolute Being, you will only be able to find and preserve it in the silence of the realisation of your own existence.

CURIOSITY ABOUT REALITY

Even as a child up to the age of 15 or 16, I was very interested in quantum mechanics, the theory of relativity, astronomy and physics in general. My mum worked as a bookseller and whenever something new appeared in this field, she would bring me home a copy. In addition to the Hawkins books, I remember titles such as "Curved Space and Bent Time", "5 Reasons Why the Universe Can't Exist" and "The Discovery of Nothingness".

Although I didn't always understand everything, I could recognise the problems in the standard model and always had the suspicion that everything was right, but that one detail had to be changed before it was really right. I was convinced that this error was obvious and that I could find it if I thought about it hard enough. So I read these books again and again, always expecting to find the mistake.

At some point, the interest in finding this error gave way to other interests and I forgot about my search for the obvious error in the Big Bang model for a long time.

BINARY AWARENESS

In 2012, I had a near-death experience that was to change my life decisively. I experienced Absolute Consciousness, the pure realisation of my existence outside of thoughts, concepts, space and time. There was nothing but the realisation "I Am".

Then I woke up again in what felt like 100,000 situations. In one bed, in another bed, on the street, on the beach, in hospital, again in another bed. Every time I had the feeling "Oh, here you are", it was time for the next situation.

In retrospect, I asked myself: "I was now in Absolute Consciousness, waking up in 100,000 different situations, but I was there all the time, I was aware of my existence all the time. What (the hell) am I doing in my normal life if I'm not aware of my existence?". At that moment I realised that I was no longer present in my normal, everyday life. There were stories, ideas, assumptions, dramas, the stories of others, but I myself was no longer present. From my near-death experience, I understood that ego consciousness is binary. Either you are aware of your existence or you are not.

This realisation seemed so important to me that I resolved not to forget the realisation of my existence from then on and to become aware of myself again and again. What happened next would not only completely change my life, but also answer my childhood question about the mistake in the Big Bang model.

THE NATURE OF SPACE AND TIME

I stood on the terrace of our house in the Andalusian mountains at night and looked up at the stars, trying to be completely still in the realisation of my existence. Then a thought came to me: "Maybe those stars up there no longer exist because the light has been travelling for so long." And, although I had never heard voices up to that point, I heard a voice at that moment, it came from the top left. This voice said: "Yes, and if you find the past in the large scales, you will find the future in the small scales". I realised that it was an answer to the question I had been looking for so much during my youth and it gave me a completely new perspective on the Big Bang model.